Hey, y’all. It’s Amie.

This might ruffle some feathers, especially since it’s an admittedly sensitive topic, but I view loneliness a little differently than a lot of folks I’ve met. See, in high school, I made it my mission to learn how to be happy alone. I had friends, but I generally wasn’t allowed to “hang out” as often as my peers. At the time, I sure wished I could—but those quiet nights ended up giving me something else.

I locked the door to my room and wrote until the wee hours of the morning. I finished an entire novel over the summer (it sucked, but that’s OK). I wrote and illustrated a kids’ book for Christmas. I piddled around with some scripts and played a lot of make-believe. In place of feeling lonely, I created worlds of my own—and, maybe even more importantly, didn’t pin my loneliness on someone else to fix.

Does that mean I don’t get lonely anymore? Nah. But I do know how to give myself some company when I need it. If any of that resonates, I hope it reminds you—you’re not the only one. And while you’re figuring out what your own “quiet joy” looks like, just know that this little newsletter editor sure is happy to see you today. And I’m so glad you’re here.

Dear Grace,

My husband and I have been together for 40 years. The children are now adults with children of their own. When we were younger, we did a lot of things together. Now that we’re older, we have very different interests. We spend meal times together and watch a little television. But, the rest of the day we spend doing our own thing. There’s not much romance either. We’re both retired and mostly always at home.

Sometimes I feel lonely. I’ve lost family members with whom I spent time with in the past. My kids don’t check in with me much. They seem annoyed with me when I call too often. My spouse and I seem to have grown apart. Is this a normal progression or am I overreacting?

Sincerely,

— Lonely in Philly

Dear Lonely,

First off, let me tell you—you are not overreacting. What you’re feeling is something so many women our age quietly carry, even if they don’t say it out loud. Nearly 1 in 3 adults over 50 feel lonely on a regular basis, and women are more likely than men to report it. 

You’ve spent decades taking care of your family, your marriage, your home—and now the quiet feels heavy. It makes sense you’d feel lonely. That doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you’re ready for new ways to find connection. Here is some sound advice…

I’ll grab the popcorn. Feels like y’all might have a lot to say about this one.

Send me a message at amie@couriernewsroom.com to respond to this week’s question—and don’t hold back.

This is a safe space, and I’ll actually listen to your opinion. All I ask is that we stay respectful. Cool?

We’re getting down to the wire, friends. Our countdown to Election Day (Tuesday, Nov. 4) is officially down to single digits.

We’ve rounded up several resources you might find useful if you haven’t cast your ballot yet—or things you can share with your friends, if you have.

Just check out our link below to access Dogwood’s free voter guide.

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