Hey, y’all. It’s Amie.

If you’re one who enjoys reading family drama, Grace’s column today has plenty of spice to it. You’ll see it in a second, but the writer asks about her engaged relationship—and her family meddling in it. 

My take? Sure, if there are reservations about a potential partner (abusive, unfaithful, controlling, etc.), loved ones need to speak up, period. But if the concerns center around the unity of the couple—well, I think that’s much more personal. 

For my husband and me? The only secrets we keep are whatever gifts we’ve gotten the other one for the holidays. If you’re telling me, you’re telling him; if you’re telling him, you’re telling me. Enjoy reading more about the dilemma below, and remember, I’m so glad you’re here. 

Dear Grace,

I have been with my soul mate for four years now. He is very traditional, so we took it slow…real dates, flowers, the whole thing. We met working in a restaurant, and he has said for years he wanted to marry me, but he wanted to save up for a real engagement ring. I was so impatient, but it was totally worth the wait! He finally asked me this year with the most beautiful ring.

The problem is that my family and a few friends keep saying he just wants to marry me for the green card (he came to the US when he was 19 to work and send money home). It ticks me off when people say that because it’s not true. He works so hard, and I’m so glad that getting married will make his immigration status more stable, but I know that’s not why he wants to build a life with me. 

On top of the stress of planning a wedding and making sure he’s safe from ICE till we get his papers together, now I have to deal with people talking crap? How do I shut them up when they say that stuff?

— Fed Up in Fredericksburg 

Dear Fed Up in Fredericksburg,

First of all, congratulations on your engagement! After four years of building something real together, you deserve to feel happy and proud—not defensive. You want your loved ones to get to know him as the amazing person that you fell in love with, not as some stereotype that has nothing to do with either of you.

It’s painful when people around you treat the person you love with suspicion instead of warmth and curiosity. On top of wedding stress and worries about his safety, those comments can feel like one more unfair weight on your shoulders.

Here are a few ways to handle it…

Former President Barack Obama and Democratic nominee for Virginia governor Abigail Spanberger at a rally in Norfolk on Nov. 1, 2025. (Michael O’Connor/Dogwood)

Did you hear? Virginia Gov. Abigail Spanberger will give the Democratic response to President Donald Trump’s State of the Union on Tuesday night.

What should she focus on most?

A. Immigration
B. Affordability
C. Unemployment
D. Education
E. Other

Let me know, and your response could be featured in Friday’s newsletter.

P.S. You can watch the State of the Union on Feb. 24 at 9 p.m. on major broadcast networks like ABC, CBS, and NBC, via cable news, and through various online streaming services.

Here’s a quick roundup of neat things to do over the next few days. Have an event you’d like to see featured? Send it my way! 💌

Charlottesville Pothole Blitz 

Feb. 23-Mar. 13 (Charlottesville)

Driving through Charlottesville? If you feel a bump, report it to the city—the  Charlottesville Department of Public Works is hosting a “Pothole Blitz” from Feb. 23 through Mar. 13. If you see a pothole, take note of its location and report it at 434-970-3830 or on the MyCville app. 

Children and Youth Well-being Plan Network

Feb. 24, 4:30 p.m. (Arlington) 

Join the Children and Youth Well-Being Network In-Person Meeting at the Barbara M. Donnellan Auditorium to help create a county-wide plan to address the well-being of kids and teens in the Arlington area. Assist with writing a vision, mapping out an engagement strategy, and identifying what’s working and what isn’t. Save your seat here. 

The Fairfax Files

Feb. 26, 10 a.m. (Leesburg)

Georgia Brown, Historic Records Manager at Fairfax County Circuit Court, will present “The Fairfax Files: A Visit from Our Neighbors” in the lower-level meeting room at Thomas Balch Library. To reserve your spot, call 703-737-7195, email balchlib@leesburgva.gov, or register online.

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